This is one terrible animal

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Take a few moments to really check out the photograph posted below. No, really. Just make sure you’ve got a really great monitor at the perfect resolution to really capture everything you need to capture about the photograph below.  Let me first start out by explaining that the ‘dark’ area at the base of the tree, is in fact fresh topsoil. Why? Because Stella the Devil Dog dug that shit up when she was left unattended for 15 minutes.

Stupid ass dog.

She also decided, at 1am this morning, that it was a GREAT time to just take a few minutes and really see what the paint on the walls tasted like. She was in between Jay and I,  and she scootched up to the wall, so that she was laying pretty much on our pillows.  I woke up to some random sound, and couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Then I heard this…grinding sound. So I sit up a bit and low and behold the Spawn of Satan was actually sitting there, pretty as you please, sort of laying down but propped up by pillows at the same time, spindles neatly folded, dragging her teeth down the flat part of the wall, ensuring deep ridges and marks. I sat there watching her a few minutes, too shocked at her retarded behavior to do much else, and then gave her collar a tug and told her to stop that shit immediately. She then licked my fingers for 5 minutes (I don’t even want to know) before going to throw herself down dramatically on her daddy’s side, and tuck into him tightly so he’d snuggle her.

Hmmph.

We took her to the vet this weekend, and caught an early ear issue. The vet said, and I quote:

“We did find 2 yeast in her right ear, but her left was clean. So, we did catch it early…”

Ya’ll. I took my dog to the vet for 2 yeast in her ear. Like, Jay and I are so hyper freaking aware of this dog- that we noticed something was wrong at 2 YEAST! I feel sorry for that puppy sometimes. It must suck to have us as owners.

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