Product Reviews: Hear Doggy

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Duncan may very well qualify for Most Annoying Dog Ever. Probably the most annoying of all the annoying habits is his ridonkulous tendency to bring you stuffed toys to play with. he almost always hands you stuffed toys, and they are almost always soggy and gross from doggy slobber. He brings them to you and rubs them all over your skin until you take the toy from him and jiggle it around in his mouth, or throw it down the hall for him to chase.

The worst, though, is when that damn dog brings the snake. This long, awful snake with like 400 squeakers in there. Here’s a picture of the dogs being terrible. You can see the Devil Snake in the frame.


The Green Devil snake...

The Green Devil snake…


Oh! I just happened to get a very dark- yet informative video. This is when he’s NOT being annoying with the toy. Normally it’s like this, except imagine he’s high on meth and crack at the same time, and we fast forward the speed about 10x.


Ya’ll…it’s the most terrible sound in the universe. It’s not like he squeaks a time or two, it’s like he double squeaks it with his mouth as fast as he can — and I swear to god he stays in constant motion, ensuring he stands on the f’ing thing, stamping on it. It’s the most heinous sound I’ve ever heard. I can’t imagine  how he continues to survive and how I refrain from drowning him on the daily.

Mom!! I'm too cute to drown!

Mom!! I’m too cute to drown!


Crap. He really IS too cute to drown. Anyway– Jay went to the petstore the other day and found something AMAZING! A STUFFY TOY WITH A SILENT SQUEAKER AND IT’S AMAZING!!!

Angel Martian. I love you.

Angel Martian. I love you.


Buy these things. ASAP. Do not pass go. <3



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