I don’t know if you are aware of this, but Mommy and Daddy have pillows they like to sleep on. In fact, both of us have ‘favorite’ pillows which we sleep on every night. Or, at least we try to sleep on them. Unfortunately, your gigantic dog self has been stealing them so often of late, that I continuously find myself sleeping sideways in the bed. Not on my side, mind you. No, I mean literally sleeping sideways in the bed, with my head sticking out of the side of the comforter. That normally leads to me being forced to curl up into a ball so your horribly rough pads don’t scratch my skin (it causes rope-burn type things). Most mornings I wake up tired and cramped, yet you are lounging in the bed like you’re the queen of the castle.
So, in short, I just wanted to ask if you could, maybe, you know, GET OFF MY PILLOWS AND LEAVE ME A LITTLE SPACE IN THE FREAKING BED. I’m not asking for much. Just the mere corner of the pillow. Just a small scrap of blanket. That’s all we ask.