Nothing is the same

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October 23, 2012

I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen when this little worm wiggled her way into my life, but it sure isn’t anything like I thought it would be.  I know I mentioned how tired I was the other day, and that was all well and good, but I don’t think I expected to feel so…full. Full of worry. Full of love. Full of warmth. Full of life.

She’s brought something to every member of this family. We all fell in love with her so quickly, and even considering how much work she is, she’s worth every bit.

We had to run her to the vet today, because she had a few symptoms of a UTI, and I have to admit I was scared. I feel like a first time mom with a newborn infant. I’m not sure if any dog has ever died from a fucking UTI, but I was absolutely CONVINCED she was dying. Every little symptom seemed just catastrophic. I’ve got it bad– I’ll admit it. I gave her the pill wrapped in a tiny bit of cheese…which she thought was freaking weird and sort of chewy and awkward. She’s sleeping now, and all I want in this sweet world is for her to wake up so I can play with her. I want to hold her every second, because I know in just a few short weeks, I won’t be able to anymore. I hope that she understands how much I adore her when I have to tell her ‘no’ all the time. I hope she knows I secretly think it’s cute. In all honesty, this silly act, nothing more than bringing home a new puppy, is changing how I think about things. I thought I was at a place I knew all I could know about myself; I was wrong.  To be perfectly frank, I know I’ve become the obnoxious pet owner, but I can’t help myself. For the first time in a long time, I’ve opened up really tiny part of myself that I’ve kept in a vault for safe-keeping.  I only rarely let that door open, and somehow I open it to a dog??

Anyway- she was terrible today.

I loved every minute of it.

October 23, 2012

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