Listen up, Miss Priss…shit’s about to go down.

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Stella,

I just read your daddy’s letter. I just want to say, in my defense, that perhaps ‘smothering’ is too harsh a word.  I mean, honestly, all I want is to constantly be petting, hugging, rubbing, laughing playing and teaching you stuff every minute of the day. Crap. Smothering…We are no longer discussing it.

HOWEVER

I would like to discuss the DEPLORABLE behavior exhibited in the following video. Please ensure you watch it to the end:

I just want to say a few things about this:

  • I see you ‘killing’ those dog panties. I don’t think those are on the list of  “Acceptable Shit to Chew”. I think this is reason number one that Daddy said you’re a ‘Terrible animal.”
  • I also saw you attacking Ms. Bianca’s daughter. You got slapped in the face, repeatedly, by an 8 year old child, and that shit never even phased you. Not for a moment. That’s a really bad girl.
  • I am going to pretend the squalling at the end of the video was because you wanted back in your crate, because that’s where the ‘paper’ is where you are supposed to potty, and not because you are just being a spoiled little shit.

And while your daddy is trying to be all Mr. Billy Bad-Ass over there and act all Pack Master on your ass, I want to tell you a few things about HIM as well. First of all, sure, I’ve been in love with you since it might be POSSIBLE that you existed, but your father is JUST AS BAD. He’s as completely in love with you as I am. All you have to do is look at his face in the photos where he’s holding you, when we came to visit you last weekend.  Anyway– it’s just 10 more days until we bring you home. Everything is ready to go. I can’t wait to have you in my arms, pretty girl. You’re gonna love it here.

I promise.

Love always,

Mommy

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