When I leave for work each day, the common areas of our house are generally in order. The throw blankets are tossed carefully on the corners of the side chairs, ensuring you don’t notice the slight wear on the fabric, and become encouraged to investigate just how much wear and tear might be on the corner. It’s possible the chair still smells of the Good Dogs, and that makes it even more interesting–who knows? What I do know, is that each S!tSpot! is carefully placed in your preferred locations each morning. All edges smoothed flat, just like you prefer them. I turn the lights on– but never too bright. I ensure the toys are picked up but in an inviting location, so that you two will be interested in digging in the toy bin.
I make sure the bedroom door is shut, so that you don’t cherry pick through my laundry and drag out various bits of lingerie and string them in the poop piles missed by Hunter, basically for you and Duncan to dance around and giggle about until I find it. Except when I DO find it, what happens?
You still dance.
How can I possibly be mad at dancing? Good question. I can’t. I can’t get mad at the two of you showing off around your treasures, laughing and playing. Never intending to disobey or be naughty, but only realizing those are mommies ‘things’, and mommy comes out to the yard for dancing when she finds the ‘things’ there. The problem is that when I come home– the house and yard are just completely filled with what can only be described as flotsam. There is flotsam all over the house. Little bits of paper, tiny scraps of toys long since killed and and long gone that you both find in some tiny crevice I never knew existed. Tiny bits of wood all over the place from where you’ve decided you’re a freaking beaver in the back yard, and begun to snack on the support posts on the patio. You know these things are naughty when I find them– no need to raise my voice, as pointing to them with a soft ‘nooo’ makes you lower your head and wag your tail, very shy and meek and adorable.
I want to know what you’re doing each day. How often do you get the zoomies with Duncan when you’re alone? Does he bully you all day, or do you start it just as much? Do you make him submissive when we aren’t looking? And mainly, who is it causing all the flotsam??
I had to know the answer to these questions, and so I found this thing called a Cloud Rover. It’s a little remote control car thingy with a camera that I can control with my phone. Unfortunately, I didn’t read the box very well, so I can’t spy on you when I’m not here, but I DID get some video of you playing with it. It’s worth almost all of the flotsam. Almost.
Also, thanks for takin’ a selfie with Mommy today, pretty girl. You make me smile lots and lots.