I’m sure you haven’t yet noticed this, because you’ve not yet met your daddy– but I have a few things to share with you about him. Today, I mentioned to him that I needed a digital frame for my desk at work. Your dad gave me shit about it, as usual, and as we were talking, a recent purchase was brought up.
Daddy: … and besides, I just bought a $100 diaper bag for a dog.
Me: Stella needed the diaper bag.
Me: You didn’t even balk at that purchase, or the fact I wanted her name monogrammed on there.
Daddy: I balked on the inside.
Me: No you didn’t, you liar! You totally thought that it was awesome, and that Stella needed that shit. Hmmph, you can’t fool me. Besides, it was YOU who linked me the goddamn slobber rag website.
Daddy: Well obviously — I saw what you did when left unattended on that shit. Repeat after me, “If Egyptian cotton is good enough for us, it’s almost good enough for Stella.”
A little back story. I was making shit on the SlobberShop the other day and they had these little kitchen towels. The reviews were terrible, but I figured I’d give it a try anyway. I had the logo put on the towels, and when they got to me I was very disappointed. The towels were not soft at all, and the logo was sort of faded on the towel. I was displeased. Your daddy then sent me a link to the most RIDICULOUS place I’ve ever seen, to get the slobber rags custom made. I don’t even want to tell you how expensive it was.
So yeah, lest you think that I’m the bad one in the family, I encourage you to look at your dad.
Also — here’s a pic of you from this week. You’re 4 weeks old. You’re also the bad one in this video…the one with the blue collar. You’re just real, real bad, sugar.